Valentine Dazzlings - by HomelessFaggot
>"Annnonnn, let us in." Sonata whinned from behind your door. "No." >"Come on Annooon. It's cold out here!" "It's July Sonata." >You hear more shuffling from outside. Guess all three are outside. >"Anon, It's Aria." >Oh this should be good. >"Remember that time when I shrink-wrapped your dog?" "Yeah. Part of the reason why I'm not letting you in." >"Well I wanted to say that, Im, reallly sorry." "That sounded fake as hell." >"Come onn Annooon!" Sonata started up again. >"I'll make you a ta-co." "Just had lunch. But thanks for the offer though. Taco Bell sucks these days after they went full tofu." >"Anon, sweetie? It's Adagio. Why won't you let us in dear?" "You know damn well why." >"I know we scared you away with our, differences, but we can still have a good time Anon." >"All we want is you." They said unanimously. "Not gonna happen." >You hear a scratching sound at the bottom of your door followed by a Sonata-like whimper. >"Do you hear that Anon?" Aria, how could I not. "It's a puppy. I think it want's to see you." "Not gonna work girls." >"Anon please."Aria started up again. >"I know we said some things, and did some stuff, but I think we can work out all our differences and have a fresh start." >"Let us have that fresh start Anon. We need to see you." "You can hear me just fine. That will have to do." >"Hey look Anon! I found a quarter! It even has your birthday on it!" "Tell me when my birthday is Sonata, and I'll let you in." >Silence. >But not for long. >"Anon quit being a little faggot and open this FUCKING DOOR!" >lol Aria mad. "Sounds like someones upset." >"YES! VERY MAD! I'M SO MAD I COULD TIE YOU DOWN AND RAPE YOU ALL NIGHT LONG UNTILL YOU LIKE IT!" "Kinky. Still not gonna let you in though." >"Hey Anon, have you even cleaned your house since the last time we broke in?" Adagio asked. >"We could dress up like sexy maids and you could watch us clean your house." "I live in an apartment complex. Bother someone else." >"But we already ate their brains!" >Valentines Day. >Any other year you would look at past loves on your laptop with a bottle of scotch. >Now you get to spend the day with three zombified teenagers. >"Annnoooooonnnnn!" >You keep silent. >"Annnnooooooooooooon!" >Ignore them and they'll go away. >"Annnooon! I know your awaaaake!" >They've been at this for five hours. >It would be kind of funny if they wanted your dick instead of your brains. >"Anon just open the door. We promise to kill you slowly." "What was that Aria?" >"I mean quicky! Damn it Anon just let us in! You'll starve to death in there anyway." "I have enough ramen and water to last me a thousand seasons. Plus enough tuna and beef to last a thousand more." >Damn sloppy joes sound real good right about now. I should cook some. >"Oh anon. Look what I found." "Not happening Adagio." >"Tell me Anon, do you have enough smokes to last a thousand seasons?" "Why yes, yes I-" >A quick glance in your pack reveals you only have three left. >Cigarettes. My only weakness. >"What's wrong Anon? Running a bit dry?" "Theres no way in hell you have any smokes." >"Why don't you open up and find out?" >No, but you could use the peep hole. >Three blood-soaked Dazzlings with Adagio holding two cartons of your favorite brand. >"Anoon. We're waaitiiiing." "Fuck you Adagio." >"That can be arranged." Adagio cooed under a quite blood stricken smile. >Fuck my short life. >Why did I move to a gun-free county? >Wait. You have an idea. "Ok girls your on. But you have to do exactly as I say. Then we both get what we want." >"Your brains?" "Sort of. Take a shower next door, your fucking filthy." -One hour later- >You hear a knock on the door. "Who is it?" >"P-P-Pizza D-Delivery!" "I don't remember ordering a pizza." >"B-But isn't t-th-is number 4-47?" "Oh you probably got it mixed up. My neighbor to your right orders pizza all the time." >"Oh! U-Uhokay!" >A few seconds later you hear him knock on the Dazzlings door. >"P-Pizza Deliver- Uh..." >"Oh look girls" you hear Adagio from next door. "He's just what we ordered." >You hear a struggle from the hallway followed by a door slaming. >"No, No! No Please!" were the pizza guys last intelligible words. >You should feel bad about it, but his company specializes in overpriced vegan pizza. >As the Dazzlings enjoy their meal next door, you crack your door open and retrieve the placed cartons. >You put in a Dethklok CD in your stereo to drown out the noise and light up a fresh smoke. >Nothing like getting mauled to a soundtrack. >All things considered, this Valentines Day isn't so bad after all.