Dazzling's Orc-Dad - by DazzlingThread
"I really hope dad isn't here, I really don't need to hear him screaming at us."
>Be Aria Blaze-it-Faggot.
>Shit got real this week. After so long you and your sisters have finally exercised the true depths of your power. You had the student body strangling itself, deliciously squirming to death on the floor as you consumed it.
>All in all it was the best you've eaten in centuries.
>"Oh don't worry Aria! Papa's still on his business trip!" chimes in Special Nee- Sonata, who was draped across the old man's red recliner watching Sienfeld.
>"He never said when he was going to get back," Adagio says, taking a sip of some wine she stole from dad's cabinet. "He took the red car though."
>You all exchange glances.
>The red ones go faster.
>The front door explodes in a shower of splinters, the sound of grinding steel and diesel engines filling the house.
>"I'm home!"
>Standing before you all is this monstrous hulk clad in crudely welded together industrial steel and car parts clumsily strapped to his engorged physique. His muscles rippled with every minute movement, and his beady red eyes shimmered with what could be described as love.
>"Ow's me lil' Dazzlin's?" the green giant bellows as he drops to a knee.
>Sonata leaps out of dad's red chair, sprinting over and leaping into the green giant. "Papa!" she squeals happily. She squeals in mirth as dad hugs her close, burying her face in his big green chest.
>"Ey sweet, ow's yer schoolin'?"
>"It's great! We found some magic and-!"
>Dad frowned. "Scuze me?"
>Sonata blinked, confused for a spell. However her smile quickly returned. "We'z found sum magicks, boss! And we'z gonna take it all from dem naff humies!"
>Dad howled in laughter. "Dat's me girl! Tinkin' like a true nob!"
>"It was my idea," Adagio spoke matter-of-factly, eager to hog the glory once again. "These two couldn't even fathom-"
>"Wot did I say 'bout speakin' like an idjit?!" Dad thunders, making you instinctively shuffle behind his big red chair for protection.
"Do we really need to-"
>"I ain't raisin' no gretchin's! Ye're ta speak like fina and proppa ladies when I'm around! Got it!" Dad snaps at you.
>"I am not speaking like some cockney fool who lost half his teeth!" Adagio snaps.
>"You can do wotevah yous want when yous become warbosses! But ye're part o' me clan! An' I'm da warboss 'ere!" the old man concludes, baring his jagged maw. "Now den, once more, Dagi?"
>Queen bitch sighs, "it wuz my idear boss, stop givin' dat gretch all da credit," she deadpans.
>"Dat ain't no way tae be speakin' o' yer sister," Dad says evenly, patting Sonata on the head, who coos softly at the affection. "Now da best fer last. Wot do ye have ta say, Aria?"
>You take a seat in dad's recliner, kicking it into a slow spin.
"Oh some stupid horse-magic is at the school and we gotta go get it because Adagio said so."
>Dad nods slowly, "sounds naff, but ye three were always on da wierdboy side."
>"What the hell daddy?! How come she doesn't have to talk right?!" Adagio whines, her natural state of being showing through.
>"What da hell is wrong wit ye?!" Dad bellows at Adagio once more. "I'm tryin' tae raise proppa ladies an' ye keep talkin' like a buncha fools who don' know da Queen's English!" He gives you a once over. "Plus Aria's a lost cause."
"I love you too daddy."
>"I didn' pick ye all up from da kid store for all o' ye ta be humies! At least one o' ya is gonna be a proppa warboss!" Dad concludes.
>"The kid store?! You followed us around at the mall, grabbed us in the parking lot, and threw us in your red car and outran the cops!" Adagio argues because she's a bitch.
>Seriously what a bitch.
>"I'm invested in yer future!" Dad retorts, totally missing the point.
>"Come on Dagi!" Sonata says as dad pets her lovingly. "Dis is way betta dan how it wuz before!."
"Yeah, we actually have a house now. I can handle dad if it means shelter and three square meals a day."
>"WE DON'T EVEN NEED TO EAT!"
"Doesn't stop you from eatin' dick."
>"Ha! Good wun!" Dad laughs, slapping his knee.
"I do my best."
>Adagio fumes silently, knowing the battle is lost.
>"So I'm bettin' ye're gonna get in loads o' good scraps," Dad mused, tapping his big green chin. "Do ya need a couple o' me spare power klawws?"
>"I'm not butchering our livestock senselessly," Adagio said flippantly.
>Dad glares at her.
>"We'z good boss," she snarls in retort.
>Dad nods, rising to his feet and leaving a disappointed Sonata where she sat. "Aight den, but if ye need it dey're in da garage wit' da choppas."
"Could really use a kan opener."
>"Not if we don't want to deal with the police again," Adagio snips.
>"Papa totally set them straight though! We got clean records again!" Sonata chimed in.
"I think that just put us on a government list, Sonata."
>"Oh dat reminds me! Da proms comin' in a couple months and I went and got ye all yer boss gear!" Dad stomps back into the room, dropping a chest on the ground before you and the girls. "Be sure ta try dem on." With that he wanders off as quickly as he returned.
>You all exchange wary glances. The school uniforms he got you all was some kind of absurd power armor composed of steel girders and bike parts.
"So who wants to look first?"
>"I will!" Sonata chirps happily, hopping over and kicking the chest open.
>The contents seem to glow vibrantly as you each take in the three neatly folded items within. Dad bought you dresses.
>Properly.
>He fucking did something right this time.
>You pick up your dress and inspect it. It's way too girly for your tastes, but you could make this look work.
>Only because he actually got his shit together and actually did something an actual dad would do.
>"I'm going to try mine on right now!" Sonata squeals as she grabs the dress with her name on it and sprints to her room.
>"I hate this."
"I kind of like them."
>"No, I mean I actually can't help feeling for the big oaf. Sometimes I actually think of him as a father."
"I know what you mean, sis."
>"Aight girls, I know ye totally zogged up yer whole magick stuffs, but I just wan' ye ta know I'm proud o' ye fer tryin' ter organize yer first waagh! Ye almost had it!"
>Dad had decided to treat you all to ice cream after the spectacular failure you all suffered at the battle of the bands. He was pretty cool about the whole thing, but he had a few choice observations.
>"Nuffin wrong wit tryin' ta prove yer da biggest by screamin' louder dan da rest, but take it from me, when all else fails nuffin beats a good scrap. Next time I wan' ye ta take some power klawws, an' when I finish da gargant ye can take dat too," he took a bite out of the unopened barrel of icecream in his large hand. "Everyone luffs a good gargant."
>"Yaay! A gargant!" Sonata cheers, blissfully unaware of what a gargant actually was.
>"That's okay, daddy. I don't think we're gonna waagh any time soon," Adagio says somberly, stuffing her mouth with some cookie dough icecream.
>You're surprised when dad makes no effort to correct her speech.
>"Dat's okay Dagi, we all have our naff days. Sometimes waaghs jus' don' take off," Dad responds with a powerful shrug. "But always remember dis me lil' Dazzlin's. Proppa orks never lose, dey jus go to get more dakka so deys can come back fer annuver go, see?"
>You snort, amused by his complete support of what you've been doing.
"You always know what to say, pops."
>"When ye have been in da waagh as long as I have, ye pick up da wisdoms," Dad says proudly, gazing at his diesel powered watch.
>"Hey papa? When's yer next trip?" Sonata asks, scooching closer to the green giant.
>"Soon, gots more waaghs ta fight."
>"Do ya tink we can come? I tink we're gonna be done with school fer a while," your sister says somberly.
>Dad muses over the idea for a spell, tapping his chin. "After prom I'll take ye on yer first proppa waagh. Would ye all like dat?"
"I'm down."
>Adagio says something, but her mouth is full, but it sounds like a noncommittal yes.
>Time passes.
>The hustle and bustle leading up to prom night has the school in a free for all.
>Adagio and Sonata especially are just drowning in prom requests and confessions of undying love. It was mildly disturbing how those stupid humies just forgot about the battle of the bands.
>Hell even Sunslut and co. didn't give you and your sisters trouble anymore. However something bothered you.
>Nobody had asked you to prom yet.
>It really shouldn't have made your piss boil like it did. You knew you had a rep as an ice queen, you knew that rumors started circulating that you made a profession out of snapping dicks off their owners for so much as looking at you funny.
>Still though, you were a girl deep down, you wouldn't mind the attention, especially right now.
>You come home with a sense of lethargy, too lazy to really go about your usual post-school activities. Adagio and Sonata are doing their usual night on the town stuff, coercing bouncers into letting them in the clubs and whatnot.
>"Ye look like ye'd seen better days."
>Dad's reclined in his big red chair, watching war documentaries.
"That's one way of putting it."
>Dad sits up, chair folding back into its resting position. He pats his knee, "come ova 'ere and tell da boss all about it."
>You hesitate. You're not a total daddy's girl like Sonata is, you weren't going to just hop into his lap and get comfy.
>Summarily speaking you hop in his lap and get comfy, sinking into dad's muscular chest. His heartbeat is rather soothing, dad referring to it as his "wardrums".
"Prom night's coming up."
>Dad doesn't sound too interested, but still tries to keep his focus on you as tanks exchange fire on the television. "Aye."
>You sigh, recalling Sonata opening her locker and being swallowed in a pile of letters.
"Nobody's asked me out yet."
>Dad hums with clarity, gently petting your head. "If ye're ever lonely, da boss is always dere for ye."
>You think he missed the point, but it was sweet regardless.
>"Where are yer sisters?" Dad asks, his gaze slowly returning to his war movies.
"Oh club-hopping."
>You feel dad pick you up and set you on his broad shoulder as he himself rises out of his red chair. "I gots an idea, luff." Your quirked brow coerces him to continue. "Who needs company fer prom? Hows about we go out and have a good time?" He doesn't wait for you to drum up an answer, you're already out the door and on the street by the time you realized your dad wants to go out on the town with you.
>This old fool really cared about you enough to stop whatever he's doing to try and cheer you up.
>Idiot.
>Nonetheless, with you in tow Dad carries you to the local pub he frequents. It's hard to fathom it, but there are loads of other guys that look just like him (albeit a bit smaller) doing what you think Dad's kind do. There's several fighting rings, some kind of mechanical dragon that spits fire every couple of minutes in the background, and some kind of walking trash can playing some choice metal music and screaming stuff in German.
>"Alright you gits listen up!" Dad booms over the music. The entire pub falls silent, all eyes on him. "Dis is me girl Aria! Y'all treat her like a good an' proppa warboss! Ya hear?!"
>The pub erupts in roars and cheers, specifically "WAAGH!"s. You flush at the attention, how all these strangers just accept you like one of their own because Dad said so.
>You never realized your dad was so cool.
>It's not long before Dad gets pulled into the ring and starts accepting challengers. You watch as he handily whoops the ass of every green idiot that so much as dares to try and steal the spotlight from him. Even the bartenders get in on the action, but he beats them into the ground just as easily.
>God your dad is so cool.
>However soon eyes are on you. "Come on Aria!" Dad booms, "come scrap wif yer old man!"