Greek Dazzlings - by Anonymous
>Canterlot High.
>Rainbow Dash is out in the field practicing for the Friendship Games movie.
>Aria Blaze creeps towards Dash's bag.
>She empties Rainbow's waterbottle and fills it with ouzo.
>Colourless alcoholic drink that people often water down before drinking.
>She then takes a seat in the stands.
>She tries to call Adagio, but she won't pick it up.
>"Oh well" she tells herself.
>She opens a bag of feta cheese-flavoured potato chips.
>Dash eventually gets too dehydrated and decides to take a break.
>Damn, the sun doesn't shine today. It bakes.
>Dash picks up her waterbottle.
>She downs most of the ouzo inside and empties the rest over her head.
>A few minutes later.
>"Daaaamn, thish water made me thirshty! Hey-Hey coach! Cooooooatsh...".
>Dash wobbles towards Gym teacher Soarin.
>She falls.
>Soarin catches her.
>"Oh my god! Are you alright?"
>"Al-*heave*-alright? Hell no, I'm Dash!"
>Soarin sniffs at Dash.
>"Shniff me like a booze hound, coach!"
>Soarin winces in disgust.
>"Dash, have you been drinking? Urgh, Nevermind."
>Soarin gets up.
>He helps Dash up.
>"C'mon, I'll take you to the nurse's office."
>"Coach wait, I have shomething to tell you..."
>"What is it, Dash?"
>Dash draws a breath in preperation to speak and then she stops.
>"......Fuck me, I forgot. No wait, tha'sh it! Fuck me, coach!"
>Everyone in the field freezes.
>There's laughter and the crunching of chips in the distance.
>"Wh-what did you say, Dash?..."
>Dash turns her ass towards Soarin and points at it.
>"Enter here. I want you to fuck me in the assh."
>Soarin walks away.
>He is afraid he'll be labelled a pedo.
>Dash starts crying on the spot.
>"Niiiiiiiiiiiiii-It'sh true...YOU FUCK BULK BICEPS!"
>Soarin freezes.
>Drama ensues.
>The theme from the Zorbas movie plays for a few seconds in the distance.
>Aria picks up her cellphone.
"Where the hell I am? Where the hell are you! Whatever, listen. Come to the training field quick, shit's going down. Yeah yeah...what? Bitch, this isn't a Scorpion tour. It doesn't happen every other day."
>Dash starts undressing.
>"LOOK AT ME, YOU FAGGOT! CAN YOU *hic* CAN YOU SHAY NO TO THISH?! How about th' resht of you?"
"Shit, Adagio, gotta close."
>Meanwhile in the Vice Principal's office.
>Princess Luna is looking outside the window.
>She is on the phone, calling the cops.
>"...please come quick. Her actions are most inappropriate for this establishment!"
>Dash's wet panties splotch on the window, inches away from Luna's face.
>They stay stuck on the window.
>"This is outrageous!"
>Meanwhile in the Principal's office.
>[shlicking intensifies]
>Minutes pass.
>A large crowd has gathered to watch a cunt make an ass of herself.
>Adagio and Sonata have finally arrived.
>Sonata is eating greek yogurt.
>She turns to the guy next to her.
>"In Greece, we just call it yogurt."
>Dash is naked save for her red running shoes.
>"The fuck you looking at, shonsh o' bitshes...? I'll fuck yall!"
>A nerd steps forward.
>"Rainbow Dash! Fuck me!"
>Dash kicks him hard on the shin.
>"Fuck you, neeeeeerd!"
>Eight patrol cruisers arrive on the scene even though only one was actually dispatched.
>"Oh shhhit. The coppersh!"
>The officers exit their vehicles and move towards Dash.
>"Gotta go fasht, like Shhhhonic the he-*hic* hedshhog!"
>Dash runs away and the cops chase after her.
>"Get her!"
>Fluttershy and the rest of the cancerous local Femen school club try to stop the cops.
>A few cops drag the attention-seeking harpies away.
>The rest are still after Dash.
>They try to tackle her, but she runs serpentine and eludes them.
>She is actually trying to run straight in her drunk stupour.
>She gets caught when she stops to throw up.
>"Let me go! You know who I am?! I'm aweshum! A.C.A.B.! A.C.A.B.! Help, raaaaape!"
>Rainbow kicks left and right.
>"Taze her, Matt!" says an officer to another.
>"Don't taze me bro! Don't taze me BR-R-R-R-R-R-R!"
>An electrical spark ignites the inflammable ouzo Dash poured on herself earlier.
>Dash bursts into flames!
>The cops run away from Dash.
>She screams and runs around.
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Hey look Adagio, it's better than the burning of Judas on easter! Hur hur hur..."
>The gathered students panic and try to flee from the human torch.
>"Time for a grexit, girls!" says Adagio.
>The Dazzlings do a 360 turn and moonwalk away.
>Students are trampled left and right.
>Others are set on fire an kept warm for the rest of their lives.
>Dash keeps running around and screaming, leaving flaming footprints on the grass.
>The grass catches fire and soon the school itself is burning like London in.
>Luna is still trapped in there!
>She bangs on the window until she feints.
>Once a safe distance away, the Dazzlings look back at the unfolding carnage.
>"Wow, brutal."
>A mexican kid steps out of nowhere.
>"Wow that Rainbow Dash sure is a hottie!"
>"SHUT UP, CARLOS!"