Greek Dazzlings - by Anonymous
>Canterlot High. >Rainbow Dash is out in the field practicing for the Friendship Games movie. >Aria Blaze creeps towards Dash's bag. >She empties Rainbow's waterbottle and fills it with ouzo. >Colourless alcoholic drink that people often water down before drinking. >She then takes a seat in the stands. >She tries to call Adagio, but she won't pick it up. >"Oh well" she tells herself. >She opens a bag of feta cheese-flavoured potato chips. >Dash eventually gets too dehydrated and decides to take a break. >Damn, the sun doesn't shine today. It bakes. >Dash picks up her waterbottle. >She downs most of the ouzo inside and empties the rest over her head. >A few minutes later. >"Daaaamn, thish water made me thirshty! Hey-Hey coach! Cooooooatsh...". >Dash wobbles towards Gym teacher Soarin. >She falls. >Soarin catches her. >"Oh my god! Are you alright?" >"Al-*heave*-alright? Hell no, I'm Dash!" >Soarin sniffs at Dash. >"Shniff me like a booze hound, coach!" >Soarin winces in disgust. >"Dash, have you been drinking? Urgh, Nevermind." >Soarin gets up. >He helps Dash up. >"C'mon, I'll take you to the nurse's office." >"Coach wait, I have shomething to tell you..." >"What is it, Dash?" >Dash draws a breath in preperation to speak and then she stops. >"......Fuck me, I forgot. No wait, tha'sh it! Fuck me, coach!" >Everyone in the field freezes. >There's laughter and the crunching of chips in the distance. >"Wh-what did you say, Dash?..." >Dash turns her ass towards Soarin and points at it. >"Enter here. I want you to fuck me in the assh." >Soarin walks away. >He is afraid he'll be labelled a pedo. >Dash starts crying on the spot. >"Niiiiiiiiiiiiii-It'sh true...YOU FUCK BULK BICEPS!" >Soarin freezes. >Drama ensues. >The theme from the Zorbas movie plays for a few seconds in the distance. >Aria picks up her cellphone. "Where the hell I am? Where the hell are you! Whatever, listen. Come to the training field quick, shit's going down. Yeah yeah...what? Bitch, this isn't a Scorpion tour. It doesn't happen every other day." >Dash starts undressing. >"LOOK AT ME, YOU FAGGOT! CAN YOU *hic* CAN YOU SHAY NO TO THISH?! How about th' resht of you?" "Shit, Adagio, gotta close." >Meanwhile in the Vice Principal's office. >Princess Luna is looking outside the window. >She is on the phone, calling the cops. >"...please come quick. Her actions are most inappropriate for this establishment!" >Dash's wet panties splotch on the window, inches away from Luna's face. >They stay stuck on the window. >"This is outrageous!" >Meanwhile in the Principal's office. >[shlicking intensifies] >Minutes pass. >A large crowd has gathered to watch a cunt make an ass of herself. >Adagio and Sonata have finally arrived. >Sonata is eating greek yogurt. >She turns to the guy next to her. >"In Greece, we just call it yogurt." >Dash is naked save for her red running shoes. >"The fuck you looking at, shonsh o' bitshes...? I'll fuck yall!" >A nerd steps forward. >"Rainbow Dash! Fuck me!" >Dash kicks him hard on the shin. >"Fuck you, neeeeeerd!" >Eight patrol cruisers arrive on the scene even though only one was actually dispatched. >"Oh shhhit. The coppersh!" >The officers exit their vehicles and move towards Dash. >"Gotta go fasht, like Shhhhonic the he-*hic* hedshhog!" >Dash runs away and the cops chase after her. >"Get her!" >Fluttershy and the rest of the cancerous local Femen school club try to stop the cops. >A few cops drag the attention-seeking harpies away. >The rest are still after Dash. >They try to tackle her, but she runs serpentine and eludes them. >She is actually trying to run straight in her drunk stupour. >She gets caught when she stops to throw up. >"Let me go! You know who I am?! I'm aweshum! A.C.A.B.! A.C.A.B.! Help, raaaaape!" >Rainbow kicks left and right. >"Taze her, Matt!" says an officer to another. >"Don't taze me bro! Don't taze me BR-R-R-R-R-R-R!" >An electrical spark ignites the inflammable ouzo Dash poured on herself earlier. >Dash bursts into flames! >The cops run away from Dash. >She screams and runs around. "AAAAAAAAAAAH!" "Hey look Adagio, it's better than the burning of Judas on easter! Hur hur hur..." >The gathered students panic and try to flee from the human torch. >"Time for a grexit, girls!" says Adagio. >The Dazzlings do a 360 turn and moonwalk away. >Students are trampled left and right. >Others are set on fire an kept warm for the rest of their lives. >Dash keeps running around and screaming, leaving flaming footprints on the grass. >The grass catches fire and soon the school itself is burning like London in. >Luna is still trapped in there! >She bangs on the window until she feints. >Once a safe distance away, the Dazzlings look back at the unfolding carnage. >"Wow, brutal." >A mexican kid steps out of nowhere. >"Wow that Rainbow Dash sure is a hottie!" >"SHUT UP, CARLOS!"